im so SIAN.........

u noe wat??!!!i jus bloody DELETED
my fresh written entry!!!!!!!dno hw to
undo...so m nw writin AGAIN...but de
feelings gone so wats de pt...SIAN.....
..ok...will giv a BRIEF summary...
basically,i jus complained,n agreed
with wat yi yun had said several times
nw,tt im a "new century pig".u noe wat...
i jus realised tt my life is nt as spectacular
to read bout,but im glad i dn hv so much
drama in my life...like tt song tt goes
sumtin like "...No more drama in my
life..."...if i do i'll b so DRAINED...n i
seriously cant handle it...will most prob
blow tings out of proportion or sumtin...
i tend to exagerate tings quite easily...u
noe wat...im so tired of bein so self-consious
...always watchin hw i behave,hw i look,
hw i will "look" like in front of ppl...ok
mayb nt de last pt...n hw ppl will tink of
me...i guess its normal...compared to other
ppl i tink im actually quite ok...oh..n i
noticed tt dere r a lotof ppl who hv V
obvious low self esteem...dey walk
round tinkin tt dere r ppl who r lookin
at dem(i learned dis from my erjie who
CONSTANTLY tells ME to stop actin as if
ppl r lookin at me...its in de way i walk...
im tryin nt to...erjie...)next time u shld try
to observe...esp de malay girls in our scool...
u noe...de more "well-known" n "active"
ones...look at de way dey act,talk,laugh..
watever...dey r v obviously tryin to gain
attention...like tt shahidah jus nw in de
hall...wen shu xian went up to get de peer
tutorin cert (i got one by de way...haha...)
she actually shouted sumtin unintelligentable
i mean PLS...u're such an attention-seeker.
u deliberately wear black round ear rings
jus to gain attention.jus cuz ur in 4/3 n de
rest of ur frens r in de lower end classes
u act as if ev1's so borin as if U r de
MOST interestin punker we'v GOT...pls
get one ting rite ok...NO ONE IS LOOKIN
AT U...i noe tt by de time any1 finishes
readin tt sentence,u prob tink im a bitch...
n tt i tink im sooo perfect tt i tink i noe
EVERYTHING...i noe i gotta change for de
better too...jus wish tt dere wasn ANYONE
who makes fun of others...as if THEY r so
GREAT n hav de RIGHTS to HUMILIATE
others...sigh...dis entry is so full of angst...haha...
its 8.10pm nw...better go n do maths...see u den...
bye...