drive

i went to town with nad today to kinda celebrate her birthday cuz we're not doing on sunday anymore.


okay. what comes next is going to be pretty funny. if you are the sick type of person. hor sinyi?? hahaha..*winks*


so nad and i went to swensens, right, and it was raining. then when i went in, i went "whoa! SHIT!!!" hahaha...and i fell down right in front of everyone. i hope no one saw my underwear man...cuz i was wearing a short skirt. at least there were some pretty cute waiters who helped me. haha..gosh...SO embarassing. i dont want to blame it on the heels i was wearing cuz they my one and only! haha..only one inch high but still enough to let my feet feel like crap.


hmm...cant wait for this major block of my life to be over.

running with the devil

okay. so that wasn't what i felt when i went back. i was analysing why i was so eager to just get the hell of that school. if there was ever a time of feeling claustrophobic, it just happened.


i dont know. i think i NEVER, EVER want to go back there again. EVER.


i dont know what i have against that school but never again do i want to walk through those gates and see all those people who had played a role in my life for 4 years in one way or another. they probably dont remember me anyway.


i think i have a problem. and that is to run away from my problems. haha..ironic isn't it? that essentially, this is a problem and im going to keep on doing it. whatever. im not making any sense. i need to shop, buy vcds and spend the rest of my life envying people on tv when i know they all work damn hard to get there.

happy birthday...to...me... =)

i was reeally touched today by steph, char, cher and gl. they bought me a cake and celebrated my birthday with me right in the CANTEEN during lunch!!!


thank you!!! STEPHANIE, CHARLYN, CHERLYN, GRACELYN!!! i love you girls!! =)


haha..i totally didn't expect this la! but it really made my birthday more special. steph even asked my brother the kind of cake i like la! :)) haha..was surprised he knew. hahahaha..


met up with mygreatlove yesterday and had a great time. she flew off to bangkok today. so jealous..i want SHOPPING! thanks for the great gift babe!


also, my darling sinyi gave me a VERY special gift. weird she says. haha..but totally unexpected too..just like what my erjie gave me. thank you girl. for putting so much thought into my gift. i can assure you i LOVE it.


erjie!! I LOVE YOU! :) cant wait for exams to finish now. cuz i want to try to make sushi!!! :)


heh...wanted to dedicate just 15min.


i want to thank everyone who remembered that it is my birthday today. :) your wishes made my day brighter and better!


okay. i left the com for about an hour cuz nad came!! with a cake!! thanks babe..and i didn't mind listening!! not at all. :)


such a wonderful day. :) thanks everyone!! hope all of you can feel my love.

i try

celebrated my birthday with my family today.


:) i do love them. they are the best.


opened my presents already though it's not my birthday yet. got hysterical halfway through. haha...it's because...i received a...


PHONE!!!!!


from my dad. hahahahahahaha.....it's the model i wanted..then after that i received a world of Japan from my sister. haha..literally. i love you babe! i love what you gave me! shall find time to use it though. my mom gave me shoes! and haha..a chopping board from ikea. it's a pretty special board. heh..my brother bought me a pair of shoes. haha..think it wasn't originally meant for me but he still gave them to me so i guess he's pretty sweet. haha..dajie bought me a shirt. thanks babe.. :)


this year's birthday was made meaningful by my family. did i say already how much i love them? :)







okay. i admit. i gained weight. shit. haha..

new phone!! :) not sold anywhere in s'pore.

the girls and i.

a moment of hysterics. there are many. haha..

i just wanted to add that im finally over c. that national day was my "yi qi yi yue". im actually really glad. feel like a load had slid off my shoulders. im going to throw away another load off my shoulders soon. in another 8 days. cant wait. :) FEEL SO GOOD!!!

Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees

national day is approaching and so is a c's birthday. sigh...this isn't an issue la..just feel a little troubled. it's that feeling where you're not sure what will happen though some part of you tells you that NOTHING is going to happen and whatever rational thought you possess is most likely to be correct.


sigh...


anyway. lately i seemed to be very easily troubled by things that shouldn't even matter. how i wish for gracelyn to be her old self. i miss her. but i don't know how to tell her that the straight-forward and independent gracelyn is what i want and not the girlish-voiced soft-spoken gracelyn. but then again this is about what i want so i recognise that the notion in itself is a bit wrong. but sitting beside her everyday during class is getting to be a little torturous and im afraid my irritation is going to show all over my body language and she is quite apt in picking these sort of feelings up. im afraid she's going to be very hurt if i keep this up. but my patience is running near to its limit.


i watched the lake house with my sis yesterday. it was a nice story. my sister and i were crying at the end of the movie. haha..but that's probably because we're pretty ardent fans of keanu and sandra. it's really sad how my keanu has to become old and his skin is starting to sag...*sob*
but. he's still number in MY book!!! for many many reasons. haha..most of them have to do with my preference of guys. he's sort of the benchmark. haha..pretty high for a benchmark huh..almost unattainable because there can only be ONE keanu in the world who is SO SO SO GORGEOUS!!!!!


gushing aren't i. okay. haha..shall stop.


so..okay. national day is c's birthday so i shall see whether or not i'll regret on the 10th. aya im not going to do anything drastic la..haha..i don't think i have the guts to.


oh ya..this video below is WACKED!! pretty cool. aerosmith still but the boy in the video is non other than the boy from the movie terminator 2! that very very very cute guy. *grins*



Aerosmith - Livin' on the edge

eat the rich

it just occurred to me that steve tyler looks amzingly like our very first common ancester. haha..okay..that was mean. but he really has stage presence and a VOICE. there can never be another band like that anymore. so sad..i wonder what would music be like in the next 20 years? i mean we saw the revolution of rock music in the last 2 decades or so and now we are possibly moving into a new revival of punk and all that 'bad-boy' music. then again, im just speculating. haha..


it's amazing to see how these bands create songs that are so unique to them huh..like pink floyd, acdc, U2..and almost all their songs that are produced are nice. wonder where they get all their inspiration from. "some people are born great and others have greatness trust upon them" <- don't know if this is correct. haha..i think im none of the above. im one who is a follower of the great. haha..someone has to work for the great in order for the great to be great right? haha..so why not me? perhaps in that way im going to be great. HAHA!! just joking.


i love aerosmith! give me another week. haha..



Aerosmith - Janie's got a gun

Okay. So i now have some rekindled feelings for aerosmith. haha..am now in that mood where almost all their songs are nice to me. hence the videos.


Dont know why but the songs make me feel very nice and hence i think this is why every once in a while i'll go back to them. They are the best.


AEROSMITH ROCKS!!!


oh ya!


Happy 18th birthday my great love!!
:) you know who you are.



Aerosmith - Full Circle

Aerosmith - Angel

pink

during gp period today, we watched a documentary from the national geographic (gosh, i love that channel!) about women suicide bombers, examining the reasons about what drives them to such measures.


throughout the period i experienced a rollar-coaster of emotions and i almost burst out crying for them. it was really sad to see and feel (through the eyes of the lisa ling, the beautiful and brave NGC journalist) what some of the palastinian and russian women were and are going through. it was relatively surprising to know that it is not religion but social injustice and war that drove them to becoming a suicide bomber.


if there ever comes a time when singapore comes into conflict with another country and deaths occur almost everyday, i imagine i too will become a suicide bomber if i was really really desperate. in this context i mean seeing my friends die innocently, my family members die one by one...i can imagine that i will feel so angry and helpless that i would resort to this just to make a statement.


after watching the video, i sort of understand more about the anguish and the desperation of people living in war torn countries, though i know i will never fully understand the extent of their emotions because how can i if im watching the video comfortably in an air-conditioned classroom? but i don't know what to do with this knowledge that i have acquired today. do i just store it away neatly into a compartment in my brain or do i appreciate the Singaporean life more? im feeling a little troubled by this because i feel that by going about my usual business in life is just too cruel.


it was really shocking as an outsider to know that martyrdom is celebrated and being one is equal to being a celebrity in Palastine. even mothers push and encourage their children to be martyrs. on average 18 Palastinians die every week.


this knowledge is all very depressing and quite heavy. what can i do? perhaps this feeling is just temporary. but don't you think it's alarming how quickly we can forget that people elsewhere are suffering and put it away from our minds like it has never happened before? okay. i sound very dramatic.


how is it possible that i was born into such a good family and a good country while there are millions of others who have to experience such hardship? it is simply not fair. it feels so extreme. that a girl my age is probably preparing to bomb herself up right now at this moment to kill others. so extreme..


sigh..i..just need to let this out of my chest. i know it will be a never-ending story if i carry on like this. so i'll stop now.

dont give up

another 3 weeks..


i cant believe it's august already. it's almost a year. another 3 weeks and it would be. how time passes.


and it's supposed to be my favourite month of the year. haha..oh well..


it's amazing to know that i am merely one of the 6,532,130,817 people living in this world but my fate is so much better than that of some. An estimated 600m children live in absolute poverty. Every year more than 10 million children die of hunger and preventable diseases. Over 1 billion people live on less than 70p a day with nearly half the world's population - 2.8 billion - surviving on less than twice that amount.


i am lucky to be alive.


don't give up
'cause you have friends
don't give up
you're not the only one
don't give up
no reason to be ashamed
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's the a place
there's a place where we belong