Time...5 was like yesterday. Now I am 16. I feel as if I've grown up too quickly. By the time I was 12 I've already tried falling in and out of "love". I mean not even a quarter of my life had passed and I'd already jilted a guy and thought myself "superior" to other girls who have yet to "try" this experience. What was I thinking?! No wonder I was so proud at that time. Seriously. If you'd knew me back then you'd have disliked me. Thank God for Nicole who'd stuck by me and saw past the proud character to say she liked having me as her friend.
I love you, Nic!!
Same thing for my brother. Growing up too fast I mean. The last time I'd talked to him about his life, he was so depressed, so upset. I was reminded by the fact that he is ONLY 14++. Round up to 15if you wish but in truth he is that. 14. And he's already feeling all these kind of emotions that he'd subjected himself to. Why must we do this to ourselves? My heart was broken by a 21 yr old guy when I was 14, too. I admit, I did that to myself. Though as much I want to regret my stupid decisions, I realise I cannot. There is no use crying over spilt milk.
When I walk on the streets, I see girls who are only 12 acting as if they are 16 or 17. Was I like that, too? I really wonder. Did 16, 17 year olds think as I when they saw my friends and I on the streets back then? Did my mom? Ok. Stupid question. Of course she did. I mean she have 4 kids. I think my da jie is the only one who had a normal childhood. Well...all in all, I hope I'd be able to help my kids have a normal childhood. Without all these things that my sis, bro and i went through.
Also, I realise I can't die just yet. There's too much to accomplish, too much to live for. Thank you God for allowing me to live in the comfort of such great parents and siblings. I know I'm
INCREDIBLY LUCKY
I love you, Nic!!
Same thing for my brother. Growing up too fast I mean. The last time I'd talked to him about his life, he was so depressed, so upset. I was reminded by the fact that he is ONLY 14++. Round up to 15if you wish but in truth he is that. 14. And he's already feeling all these kind of emotions that he'd subjected himself to. Why must we do this to ourselves? My heart was broken by a 21 yr old guy when I was 14, too. I admit, I did that to myself. Though as much I want to regret my stupid decisions, I realise I cannot. There is no use crying over spilt milk.
When I walk on the streets, I see girls who are only 12 acting as if they are 16 or 17. Was I like that, too? I really wonder. Did 16, 17 year olds think as I when they saw my friends and I on the streets back then? Did my mom? Ok. Stupid question. Of course she did. I mean she have 4 kids. I think my da jie is the only one who had a normal childhood. Well...all in all, I hope I'd be able to help my kids have a normal childhood. Without all these things that my sis, bro and i went through.
Also, I realise I can't die just yet. There's too much to accomplish, too much to live for. Thank you God for allowing me to live in the comfort of such great parents and siblings. I know I'm
INCREDIBLY LUCKY
