To Hell We Ride

tomorrow is a new school day and i'm a bit apprehensive. you know...just like the first day of secondary school (i don't remember my first day of primary school. all i remembered was sitting down in the wrong arrangement and arthur was the first person i met in the school when he said, "Oi!! yiou have to sit behind!!!".)


anyway. i met nic on wednesday and though she was very obviously tired (training in the morning till late 2++), she (in my opinion, of course) was quite insensitive. she said some very insensitive remarks which made me feel quite upset about. we met up for early dinner in sakae sushi in the airport as she has to work later. it was a buffet so it was relatively cheaper. after we ate about 9 plates each, i said to her that i was quite full and i might be able to eat more. she said " wanqi, next time if you're not going to eat in a buffet don't ask me to come with you okay?". AS IF I JUST WANTED TO EAT!!! why would i stuff my myself till my food filled all my oesophagus? i just wanted to spend some time with my bestfriend before the year passes and also to give her the christmas gift. she said it a few times before i tried to explain to her that her saying these would hurt me (i was trying to find words to say without sounding like a drama queen). at last i said," nic, i didn't just come here to eat okay? i just wanted to spend some time with you. i mean when was the last time we met? i think it was at the beginning of the month! we had hardly met up at all!", she reminded me that i went to her house to play ps2 two weeks ago. TWO WEEKS!! i didn't even stay over at her house once in this longest holiday in my lifE!!! i don't know why but she has become so flippant about things that are important to me. guess she's just tired. she's going to nanyang jc tomorrow. she's entering there because she's very good at canoeing. well, good luck to her then. i'll msg her later.


the next day i met up with tiffany. we went orchard. you know what? i think i have pms or something because there was one moment where i was very upset for a moment. i was upset cuz tiffany was browsing through my phone (looking at pictures) and when she saw a picture of herself she automatically deleted without asking me first!!! sigh...saying this make me feel pissed all over again. why was i pissed?


1) she didn't ask me first. i mean who's phone was she holding? who does she think she is?
2) i like the picture cuz it was a candid one where she didn't pose and it held her real smile.
3) she thought it wouldn't make me angry or whatsoever. is she so self-conscience that she can't spare a thought about how i'd feel?


i guess it all boils down to her asking for my permission first. why doesn't the people whom i consider as my close friends care about my feelings at all? okay. this is self-pity. right. i'm grateful for yiyun. she's a person who will go the extra mile for a friend. kind of like me. nad, too. i mean i'm grateful for her too. in my secondary school life, i considered 5 people my (own)really close friends. tiffany, zhi yuan, nic, nad and yiyun (we're not a group of friends). i guess i shouldn't really take these things to heart. i mean, there's always jc to look forward to. and i can always meet up with yiyun or nad.


alright. moving on.


my sisters and i donated some clothes and canned food to sri lanka. really hope these things are helpful.


yesterday, we had a family lunch again. was pretty good. i think the next time my mom cooks again will be next month (reunion dinner).


erm my broher wants to talk to me. will write tomorrow or someday next week.


later.


oh and before i forgot. thanks to yiyun, liting, sook yee, christina and jeanie for inviting me to their steamboat dinner yesterday at the chalet. it was very nice. =)