im an ingrate

what's with the title? im amusing mself. well it's written all over augustine's blog. since i've already taken down his blog link, if u can still remember what's his blog address you can go and read it. yesterday i cried the whole day. when i came home from school, after i woke up from my nap and after i read that entry that was a direct blow to my heart. i guess i deserved that. we did talk at last when he decided to entertain me for a while...and i thought we were back together but not together again. so i msged him when i woke up only to find out that he thinks we haven't and he doesn't believe me. ha...i was so close to tearing again.


he no doubtly feels more freedom with his life (from his blog) and no doubtly feels much more happier.


there's a thin line between self-pity and admitting my mistakes. i really don't know where's that thin line.


i thought, with him in my life i can get through jc life easier cuz this is someone i started jc life with for almost 9 months. im really used to the fact that i can look forward to seeing him after school. it's a comfort, i guess, cuz i've never experienced what's it like to have someone you love in the same school. i decided to delete an entry from my blog because it is very childish and augustine don't shouldn't have read that entry cuz i didn't mean what i said (if he still reads my blog anyway). it was written in anger.


im really trying to move on with my life. i really am. i just feel like i lost an anchor in my life. shows how ingrateful i am right? i did take him for granted. now he doesn't want me anymore. so why am i crying? im the one who shouldn't be crying right?


my sister and my brother came to knock some sense into me. what they said really helped. both of them went through the same thing and both of them got over it. when i say same thing i mean they went through what augustine did and the breakup. is this entry full of self-pity? maybe in a few years i'll know.


i have to be strong for myself.


will write soon.