dont call me peanut

i dont like to say im stressed but i think for the first time i am. my heart cant stop feeling a slight twinge of panic at the thought of everything, if you provoke me a little i think i'll cry, i feel like there is something heavy resting atop my heart and that makes my breathing a little difficult. i feel like sighing at every breath i take.


170 days till school is REALLY over. no more exams. i REALLY cant wait for 170 days to be over. everything will be better. everyday will be brighter. after these 170 days.


i know this feeling is just temporary. but till it's over, forgive me if i sound like some whiny kid who cant get her act together. i know i will get over this feeling and stop whining. hopefully by tomorrow. haha..i realised that usually after confessing about some feelings in my entries i will not feel that way again.


i cant carry people's problems on my shoulders. im sorry but i cant. i wish there is something i can do to make people feel better when they're down but i tend to get sucked into their darkness and it's really a struggle for me to get out. i guess there are people out there who can handle all this but that person is not me. it saddens me to know that i cant do much. perhaps im not mature enough to handle this. or maybe i just need to learn how to separate these feelings. perhaps the latter is what i need.


i can do it! yatta! haha..


i guess im really an introvert. haha..because self-motivation helps.


okay. unloaded some baggage. am actually wasting time because i should be at the library now. oh well.