sadness and sorrow

today was the first time i...


felt that the language of english was foreign,

can taste the meaning of suicide at the tip of my tongue,

realised that i want lots of attention,

know that my self-esteem is at the bottom of the bottomless pit,

feel stupid,

want to escape into the confines of music and a wonderful dream,

think it is a really bad time to be depressed.


all these because i think im going to fail gp. i might as well kill myself if i fail my A levels huh.


makes me wonder if im strong enough to ride this wave out. oh well...it's just a stupid exam. right?


Right.