if i could sum up whatever im feeling right now in one word, i will say i am feeling so reluctant.


i wish to be straightforward and tell people off, but im afraid i'll come across as being difficult and rigid. i just told someone off without much thinking and now im wondering if i did the right thing. could i have kept my cool and said something else that is less hurting?


so reluctant to call and make up because. disappointment. such a big word to use. big because of the weight it carries.


so disappointed...yes, i am.


to tell you the truth, i don't really know why am i putting it off. i know i need to make that phone call because it is essential.


no, don't worry. it's nothing serious...


am i being overly dramatic? am i in the wrong? am i wrong to act and feel like this? is this called self-pity?


sigh.....i just don't want to face nor handle this. it is so...stupid? so trivial? so hurtful...


ahh...this entry is so laced with self-pity. sigh...just ignore this entry..i'll figure it out sooner or later...