When the sun sets

I know its been awhile since I've written here. I just didn't feel the need to write down stuff here till recently when I found myself wanting to put my thoughts to words and Facebook was just too...attention seeking. At least here, since no one probably comes to read anymore, it'll be easier.

Exams was kind of like shit because I didn't put my heart into it at all.. I just couldn't see what the heck I was learning and what I have learned so far.

Not only that, I found that I have gained weight.. okay, anyone who knows me, knows I am not athletic. But then again, I have never been thin in any day of my life. Except when asscrap and I split up and I lost like 4kgs. That was really unhealthy though, and I quickly gained back whatever weight I lost. Now, I guess the only solution is exercising. I really feel the fats... it is making me feel very self-conscious and ugly. I know there will be people who will say that I am not fat and stuff. Thank you. I know you guys are trying to make me feel better.

Just now was cheerleading practice. I felt fat. It was demoralising... seriously... I felt the pressure to perform because I had some experience at the very least... everytime the backspotter holds my waist, I feel so embarrassed... because all my fats are found there..

Okay, enough self-pitying and bashing.. I feel really sad that celia can't be in the team too.. Either she quit or was let go, it is a waste. Reason is because she is really tiny and she had an interest.. really a waste.

On another note, I had a GREAT trip in batam with my fellow hall people, especially the comm people. Enjoyed myself tremendously. :)