tired!!!
my hands are covered with blisters after cleaning the house! (actually there's only one blister. haha...still.)
haha...set up the christmas tree just now. but it's being deprived its colourful decorations because i have no idea where the heck my sister kept them. maybe i shall call her later. she's in m'sia now. =)
hmm....
i finished watching flame of recca yesterday! haha...my bro and i were on the couch for about 7 hours!!! my gosh...how time flies. it was so good! but towards the ending it got a little boring. SO much talking! and the bad guys weren't at all bad. i like kurei!! =)
anyway.
people like to play God. it's in their nature to think they are all great and mighty and have the right to mete out "justice" to what they define as "crimes". well whatever. i don't need cowardly people who hide safely behind a large computer screen TYPING (for goodness sakes) verbal abuse. i despise you. you digust me.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
blind
this is probably the worst days of my life. im having some very low self-esteem issues right now though i know it is ridiculous and stupid. i look at my face in the mirror only to see some stranger staring back at me. i have to remind myself several times that that person is me and i should not care about trends and fashion and all that feminist stuff like im pretty in my own right...kinda like crap huh...
the worst thing i need right now are anonymous people who don't know a hair about me to tell me im such a bitch or im stupid or shit like that. but it's okay. rant at me. if it makes you feel better. don't care that you don't know me. or understand me. i'll only get stronger in the end. not you. you sick fuck.
the worst thing i need right now are anonymous people who don't know a hair about me to tell me im such a bitch or im stupid or shit like that. but it's okay. rant at me. if it makes you feel better. don't care that you don't know me. or understand me. i'll only get stronger in the end. not you. you sick fuck.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
don't forget me
i've been dreaming alot lately.my mom says it's cuz i've been working my brain harder than usual. to that i have no idea and it actually sounds quite weird. haha...i mean...the work i do...doesn't require much...brain work.
a few hours before i awoke today, i dreamt that i was pregnant at my current age and i gave birth. who's the father???? haha...that would be a secret between me and God. anyway...it was a very weird birth (since when are dreams going to be normal anyway???) in which i thought was very normal. -_-" it figures...okay...haha...the father of my child and i seemed to have had a quarrel and throughout the birth process he wasn't there and was busy running around. okay. so there was one moment in the dream where he stayed quite close by observing but never was he there beside me to share the birthing process with me. the only touch i had of him was his hand and that was only a fleeting moment. the birth process itself was...strange now that i think about it.
it started with me i dno...oh man...im abit embarassed to speak about it. partially because i don't know how to describe it in detail and also because i forgot how some parts link to each other. okay. the ones i can safely say is that my doctor left me and went home in between my birth. she went home at 8.15pm when i looked her up around 9? the birth process was a very segmented process whereby there had to be some preparations done before i lie in bed squeezing it out. even then, i didn't lie in a bed. i laid on the floor on a blue mat in a room which had windows. it was kind of like in a container and people can watch if they wanted to. it was bizarre. this dream was...weird bizzare...strange...and nowadays all my dreams contain one main person besides me. i know when im thinking TOO much. now is the time. and these last few days when i have to work were the ULTIMATE days. TOO MUCH. makes me kinda apprehensive to go school.
imagine...every single day...to see what i don't want to. i wish there were a special kind of glasses which eliminates people you don't want to see from your vision. put it on and tada! they are gone. like they never even existed. take them away and ugh...there they are again. i know it sounds far fetched but the only thing one can do in her free time is to dream isn't it? i guess that's what people mean when they say "lost in their own world".
in my ever monotonous job, i was thinking (about lots of things apparantly) and one of the things i thought of was that...i do have a boyfriend. and his name is called MJ. we became an item at the very end of last year when we pledged to be together.
i tried to two-time him soon after however, and we tried to keep him in the dark. i mean...MJ and i spent ALL our time together. frankly, it was getting boring. but this new guy i was with...he was everything MJ wasn't. he was...funny, sweet, handsome, and...interesting. it was fun to be with this new guy and i wanted to spend all my time with him instead of spending them with MJ. but soon after...okay la...a few months after i was two-timing him, he found out. he said i was getting aloof and uninterested in the things he was saying. he said i was always finding excuses to not go out with him and always running off to somewhere at the very first opportunity.
i didn't want to break off my relationship with this new guy so i lied to MJ saying i wasn't with him anymore. but pressure started building everytime this new guy tried to convince me to break up with MJ. why didn't i want to break up with MJ? on the hand, MJ pressured me to spend more time with him and being more committed. i have to commit to something at every turn i made.
this pressure made me become something i've never dreamt of becoming. a monster. a bitch. an evil villian. by the time i realised i was all that it was too late. i lost my new guy. the very love of my life. but now that im ALWAYS thinking about it, it's good that i became such a bitch. it'll make him less vulnerable to bitches like me and find better, sweeter girls to give his love to. it's good for me too...i'll learn that i CAN be such an ass and there will always be an underlying bitch itching to get out.
now MJ and i are having a break. we'll get back together on the first monday of 2006 and spend ALL our freaking time together *shudders* imagine that. i cant wait to breakup with him at the end of next year. i think he cant wait too.
okay. so am i wu liao or what??? haha...
oh man...im such a wu liao person. perhaps it's because im really bored. bing feng is on a holiday in JAPAN and coming back next wednesday. okay...all i have to do is to...wait. for the next december to arrive. maybe then i will backpack to australia. or japan. or taiwan. or korea. or.. okay...the list goes on and on and on and on..
oh another thing is that i want to plan my future. for the next 10 years. and i want my 10 years to start from next year on.
wish my luck =D
a few hours before i awoke today, i dreamt that i was pregnant at my current age and i gave birth. who's the father???? haha...that would be a secret between me and God. anyway...it was a very weird birth (since when are dreams going to be normal anyway???) in which i thought was very normal. -_-" it figures...okay...haha...the father of my child and i seemed to have had a quarrel and throughout the birth process he wasn't there and was busy running around. okay. so there was one moment in the dream where he stayed quite close by observing but never was he there beside me to share the birthing process with me. the only touch i had of him was his hand and that was only a fleeting moment. the birth process itself was...strange now that i think about it.
it started with me i dno...oh man...im abit embarassed to speak about it. partially because i don't know how to describe it in detail and also because i forgot how some parts link to each other. okay. the ones i can safely say is that my doctor left me and went home in between my birth. she went home at 8.15pm when i looked her up around 9? the birth process was a very segmented process whereby there had to be some preparations done before i lie in bed squeezing it out. even then, i didn't lie in a bed. i laid on the floor on a blue mat in a room which had windows. it was kind of like in a container and people can watch if they wanted to. it was bizarre. this dream was...weird bizzare...strange...and nowadays all my dreams contain one main person besides me. i know when im thinking TOO much. now is the time. and these last few days when i have to work were the ULTIMATE days. TOO MUCH. makes me kinda apprehensive to go school.
imagine...every single day...to see what i don't want to. i wish there were a special kind of glasses which eliminates people you don't want to see from your vision. put it on and tada! they are gone. like they never even existed. take them away and ugh...there they are again. i know it sounds far fetched but the only thing one can do in her free time is to dream isn't it? i guess that's what people mean when they say "lost in their own world".
in my ever monotonous job, i was thinking (about lots of things apparantly) and one of the things i thought of was that...i do have a boyfriend. and his name is called MJ. we became an item at the very end of last year when we pledged to be together.
i tried to two-time him soon after however, and we tried to keep him in the dark. i mean...MJ and i spent ALL our time together. frankly, it was getting boring. but this new guy i was with...he was everything MJ wasn't. he was...funny, sweet, handsome, and...interesting. it was fun to be with this new guy and i wanted to spend all my time with him instead of spending them with MJ. but soon after...okay la...a few months after i was two-timing him, he found out. he said i was getting aloof and uninterested in the things he was saying. he said i was always finding excuses to not go out with him and always running off to somewhere at the very first opportunity.
i didn't want to break off my relationship with this new guy so i lied to MJ saying i wasn't with him anymore. but pressure started building everytime this new guy tried to convince me to break up with MJ. why didn't i want to break up with MJ? on the hand, MJ pressured me to spend more time with him and being more committed. i have to commit to something at every turn i made.
this pressure made me become something i've never dreamt of becoming. a monster. a bitch. an evil villian. by the time i realised i was all that it was too late. i lost my new guy. the very love of my life. but now that im ALWAYS thinking about it, it's good that i became such a bitch. it'll make him less vulnerable to bitches like me and find better, sweeter girls to give his love to. it's good for me too...i'll learn that i CAN be such an ass and there will always be an underlying bitch itching to get out.
now MJ and i are having a break. we'll get back together on the first monday of 2006 and spend ALL our freaking time together *shudders* imagine that. i cant wait to breakup with him at the end of next year. i think he cant wait too.
okay. so am i wu liao or what??? haha...
oh man...im such a wu liao person. perhaps it's because im really bored. bing feng is on a holiday in JAPAN and coming back next wednesday. okay...all i have to do is to...wait. for the next december to arrive. maybe then i will backpack to australia. or japan. or taiwan. or korea. or.. okay...the list goes on and on and on and on..
oh another thing is that i want to plan my future. for the next 10 years. and i want my 10 years to start from next year on.
wish my luck =D
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Dosed
i got back my blog with the help of aug that very same day. but because it was v late thus no long entry. anyway, i'd like to apologise for wrongly accusing him though i think the person who wanted to hurt me is very closely related to him. it's okay. i forgive you. i mean, after all, the only reason why you dislike me so much is probably because i'd hurt him and everything. i understand. if i were you i'd probably do the same thing too...if i know how that is. too bad i dont huh...haha..
anyway, i have your email add.
which i had deleted already. =D
oh and thanks for tagging huh...in my own name. didn't know you were a self-proclaimed slut -_-"
thanks jan!! =) cant wait to have you back in our country. must travel safely okay??? love u!!
yiyun!!! please tell me when you're free. im not working from next week onwords! =D heh heh heh...
okay. have to sleep now...have work tomorrow. good night world! =)
anyway, i have your email add.
which i had deleted already. =D
oh and thanks for tagging huh...in my own name. didn't know you were a self-proclaimed slut -_-"
thanks jan!! =) cant wait to have you back in our country. must travel safely okay??? love u!!
yiyun!!! please tell me when you're free. im not working from next week onwords! =D heh heh heh...
okay. have to sleep now...have work tomorrow. good night world! =)
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Numbness for sound
i realise now why it's better that i don't remember my dreams. because whenever i do, it's weird and it puzzles me for quite a while. this morning's dream was so weird. hmm...i realise yesterday that i don't say "i love you" without meaning it. haha...for all this while i was confused because i didn't know when i meant it and when i don't. but the answer is all very simple. i cant say i love you to some people. or perhaps it should be i don't feel like saying it. so when i do feel like saying it and it is of my own free will it means i really do love. haha...
okay. back to my dream. hmm...guess who i dreamt of? i didn't know he'll be appearing even in my dreams. haha...i dreamt that we met somewhere familiar and started talking again. but this familiar place was a place i've never seen before. we started chatting and then...i think...we went out but i was with 2 people. the weirdest thing was that he became yiyun but i still hear his voice talking. okay. explanation here is like shit. but that's all i can remember. it's weird because
1) i didn't know i'll still dream of aug. so what does it mean when i do?
2) why did he turn into yiyun???? does that mean im lesbian and im in love with her?? okay. yiyun, dont freak when you read this okay..haha...because i dont think im in love with you. im straight. i want to be straight. hmm...im still attracted to guys. =D
another shit thing is my tagboard. what's wrong with it?? i cant seem to see it being okay in my com. hmm...so shit.
it's december already.
so bloody fast.
i wonder what will happen to me next year? hmm...should i go suan ming? i feel like leh...any recommendations???
remember to buy me christmas present okay?? hahahahaha...na la...just joking.
okay. back to my dream. hmm...guess who i dreamt of? i didn't know he'll be appearing even in my dreams. haha...i dreamt that we met somewhere familiar and started talking again. but this familiar place was a place i've never seen before. we started chatting and then...i think...we went out but i was with 2 people. the weirdest thing was that he became yiyun but i still hear his voice talking. okay. explanation here is like shit. but that's all i can remember. it's weird because
1) i didn't know i'll still dream of aug. so what does it mean when i do?
2) why did he turn into yiyun???? does that mean im lesbian and im in love with her?? okay. yiyun, dont freak when you read this okay..haha...because i dont think im in love with you. im straight. i want to be straight. hmm...im still attracted to guys. =D
another shit thing is my tagboard. what's wrong with it?? i cant seem to see it being okay in my com. hmm...so shit.
it's december already.
so bloody fast.
i wonder what will happen to me next year? hmm...should i go suan ming? i feel like leh...any recommendations???
remember to buy me christmas present okay?? hahahahaha...na la...just joking.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Always something
im hooked on this switchfoot song. it makes me feel real sad whenever i hear it but for some unknown reason i just can't pull away from it and so i can only listen to the whole song before choosing another.
i realise yesterday that im quite a sick person. as in...i like to do some things to myself that will have me crying in the end. listening to songs like this is an example. self-punishment i guess? makes me feel better in the end? im psychotic man..
anyway.
hmm...the song is really nice...im listening to it now. haha...
anyway, bing feng if you're reading this, i'd just like to say a big THANK YOU to you, for being such a great friend. really. =)
okay. i hope im going abroad next month.
*crosses fingers*
man...i need to shower.
i realise yesterday that im quite a sick person. as in...i like to do some things to myself that will have me crying in the end. listening to songs like this is an example. self-punishment i guess? makes me feel better in the end? im psychotic man..
anyway.
hmm...the song is really nice...im listening to it now. haha...
anyway, bing feng if you're reading this, i'd just like to say a big THANK YOU to you, for being such a great friend. really. =)
okay. i hope im going abroad next month.
*crosses fingers*
man...i need to shower.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
sunrise
i battled with 5 layers of dust and hair and dead skin cells for the first time in this year today. my back is aching man...haha...i gotta thank aug for cleaning my room the last two times man...though the last time my room was cleaned by anyone, which was him, was 3 months ago. haha...that was so long ago. can you imagine the amount of dirt and dust collected everywhere? haha...creepy that im such a dirty person huh...haha...looks can be very deceiving folks.
the best thing is, im not done yet. haha.....i still have to vacuum and mop my floor one more time. now im just waiting for my floor to dry. hmm...i've been cleaning since...1.30pm and i still have the shelves to wipe! oh man...haha...so pathetic. and so dirty.
i've actually been waiting for today. the "i feel like cleaning my room" day. if not, i won't clean my room. hmm...gotta change my attitude man...hahaha...if there are guys out there who think they like me (im such a bhb. haha...) better think twice huh...hahahahaha...you're liking a very dirty girl. mentally too. haha!!!
i realise i have the art of amusing myself. i have been trying to perfect it over the years. so don't be shocked if you're out with me and i laugh suddenly. im not as crazy as you think i am. i am crazier. haha...im always in my own world. hmm...can anybody tell me what's wrong with that? being one's own world i mean. haha...im defending it now that im doing it. i mean...do you always have to engage the outside world? even when you're alone? you have to always act as if you're interested in what others are doing??? so what does "not being in their own world" mean????
anyway.
im full of crap in case anybody doesn't realise. hahahahaha...
i have work tomorrow! hmm...it's going to be december soon...then i can sing that linkin park song! hahahahaha.....
im in such a jolly good mood! =D
the best thing is, im not done yet. haha.....i still have to vacuum and mop my floor one more time. now im just waiting for my floor to dry. hmm...i've been cleaning since...1.30pm and i still have the shelves to wipe! oh man...haha...so pathetic. and so dirty.
i've actually been waiting for today. the "i feel like cleaning my room" day. if not, i won't clean my room. hmm...gotta change my attitude man...hahaha...if there are guys out there who think they like me (im such a bhb. haha...) better think twice huh...hahahahaha...you're liking a very dirty girl. mentally too. haha!!!
i realise i have the art of amusing myself. i have been trying to perfect it over the years. so don't be shocked if you're out with me and i laugh suddenly. im not as crazy as you think i am. i am crazier. haha...im always in my own world. hmm...can anybody tell me what's wrong with that? being one's own world i mean. haha...im defending it now that im doing it. i mean...do you always have to engage the outside world? even when you're alone? you have to always act as if you're interested in what others are doing??? so what does "not being in their own world" mean????
anyway.
im full of crap in case anybody doesn't realise. hahahahaha...
i have work tomorrow! hmm...it's going to be december soon...then i can sing that linkin park song! hahahahaha.....
im in such a jolly good mood! =D
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Into the dark
me and my lovely mother =)wanna buy more jap vcds!! maybe the one with takeshi sorimachi or yutaka something. or maybe more with takura kimura!!!!! *squeal*
hmm...have been kinda close with bingfeng this past month. he is a great friend. and i'll seriously just leave it as that. dinner yesterday was fine too...except that there is no beef noodle anymore!!!!!!!!!!! the nice one anyway!! hrmph...=( we ate the noodle and left it at 90%. haha...it totally sucked. so disappointed. hmm...
nad my lovely!!! am very glad that i had that lunch with you. miss u!
jan darling!! =)
yiyun my great love!!!! hope you're feeling better k...though you have yet to reply to my sms.
i'm happy with the way i am now. just living each day as it is and not having too many expectations. do the things i feel like doing. eat the things i like ..haha.. buy the things i feel like buying. go out whenever. im happier. really. =_
don't know why my heart was feeling sour just now when i was on the way home. it was a bittersweet feeling. but don't really want to care too much. im having fun.
it's been great since i've forbidden myself to see anything related to him. im so glad that i have 70% of my life back.
haha...have nothing to blog about.
okay. here's something i wrote in the wee hours this morning:
Grate my heart
and eat the flesh.
Crush my heart with your large hands
and drink the blood.
At least it proves
that my heart is naught
but flesh and blood.
Spread my heart with butter and
steam it with meat.
i assure you
that it will undoubtly taste nice.
Cut me apart with a sharp knife;
Dismember me piece by piece;
Identify me organ by organ and
i'll just fade away
like the unknown that i am.
haha...trying to show off my (edit) " good" skills in poetry.
im such a show off ;).
Thursday, November 24, 2005
all that i have
tomorrow is my off day! =) im meeting nad for our long awaited lunch and bingfeng for dinner. hmm...cant wait to sleep in.
work was okay. my collegues are nice. all female. haha...it's quite cool. but im getting fat!! so shit. hours past very fast when i work and it's a monotonous routine which can get very tiring after awhile. but i have yet to reach that stage. now it's a way to pass my day quickly. which, indeed, it does.
what's new and interesting? erm...nothing much. haha...oh. im drying up like a prune. but im too lazy to put moisturiser. hmm...maybe i'll put it on later. i want to go on a holiday, buy new clothes, lose weight, meet some new guy, have a nice and hurtless relatonship...
but. i know im not going to have that last 2. =_
let's wait and see what my life's plan is.
work was okay. my collegues are nice. all female. haha...it's quite cool. but im getting fat!! so shit. hours past very fast when i work and it's a monotonous routine which can get very tiring after awhile. but i have yet to reach that stage. now it's a way to pass my day quickly. which, indeed, it does.
what's new and interesting? erm...nothing much. haha...oh. im drying up like a prune. but im too lazy to put moisturiser. hmm...maybe i'll put it on later. i want to go on a holiday, buy new clothes, lose weight, meet some new guy, have a nice and hurtless relatonship...
but. i know im not going to have that last 2. =_
let's wait and see what my life's plan is.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
august in bethany
caught an extremely exciting game of fifa soccer between Germany and Russia today!!! everyone was cheering real loud that it didn't seem boring! haha...
all these action LIVE at suntec! okay, don't know what im talking about? it's the WCG 2005 held at the convention centre at suntec! =)
went with bing feng and some of his friends. it was fun. i was introduced to the world of warcraft, warcraft 3, and i relived CS and saw fantastic soccer. since today was the finals there were quite little matches played. hmm...the results for today is (or rather, what i know =D) : champion for WC3 is China! he totally trashed America man!! though i know completely nothing of the game and how to play it, it was quite obvious america didn't stand a chance. erm...for CS it was america. i would really have liked kanghastan to win though...hmm...finally, GERMANY WON for FIFA 2005!!! haha...it was really exciting and totally fast paced partly because i sat in the row beside the germans. they went completely wild whenever a goal was scored, which was quite frequently. very exciting. haha...imagine what it'd be like if it was real soccer.
chilled out with my brother and frieda and mae in the later part of yesterday. on the way home i found out some interesting truths about aug when he was with me. it kinda changed my perspective of him. it wasn't some very nice truth and it made me feel a wee bit betrayed. don't want to act and sound like a drama queen because hey, it doesn't matter anymore right? what was done was done. it was fate that we were together and i acted the way that i did and he acted the way that he did. i won't change anything and i won't regret any bad things i had said and done because after we split, i did feel bad and i did learn. hmm...boy did i learn a lot of things. about him, about me, and about our relationship. i don't know whether i will still think about him everyday now and feel bad everytime i do because i did some bad things, because truth is, he was lying to me the whole time and i completely trusted him. completely. without a doubt. made me feel really like a fool after learning about it yesterday. hmm....
well, fuck it.
i'll get someone much better than you.
okay. going to help my mom now. =) later.
all these action LIVE at suntec! okay, don't know what im talking about? it's the WCG 2005 held at the convention centre at suntec! =)
went with bing feng and some of his friends. it was fun. i was introduced to the world of warcraft, warcraft 3, and i relived CS and saw fantastic soccer. since today was the finals there were quite little matches played. hmm...the results for today is (or rather, what i know =D) : champion for WC3 is China! he totally trashed America man!! though i know completely nothing of the game and how to play it, it was quite obvious america didn't stand a chance. erm...for CS it was america. i would really have liked kanghastan to win though...hmm...finally, GERMANY WON for FIFA 2005!!! haha...it was really exciting and totally fast paced partly because i sat in the row beside the germans. they went completely wild whenever a goal was scored, which was quite frequently. very exciting. haha...imagine what it'd be like if it was real soccer.
chilled out with my brother and frieda and mae in the later part of yesterday. on the way home i found out some interesting truths about aug when he was with me. it kinda changed my perspective of him. it wasn't some very nice truth and it made me feel a wee bit betrayed. don't want to act and sound like a drama queen because hey, it doesn't matter anymore right? what was done was done. it was fate that we were together and i acted the way that i did and he acted the way that he did. i won't change anything and i won't regret any bad things i had said and done because after we split, i did feel bad and i did learn. hmm...boy did i learn a lot of things. about him, about me, and about our relationship. i don't know whether i will still think about him everyday now and feel bad everytime i do because i did some bad things, because truth is, he was lying to me the whole time and i completely trusted him. completely. without a doubt. made me feel really like a fool after learning about it yesterday. hmm....
well, fuck it.
i'll get someone much better than you.
okay. going to help my mom now. =) later.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Collide
i had fun at the bash tonight. haha! though it was just as i expected and i didn't expect much, =D , i enjoyed my time spent with the girls! jan, angeline and erica, i love you girls! =)
here are the pictures =)
*angeline =)*
*jan! =)*
*erica =)*
*val darling!*
haha...in case you're wondering about the arrrow, it's actually pointing to the guy who saw me cry a few months ago at bk with his girl. haha...it wasn't on purpose that your face ended up in my photo so please don't be angry okay? =)
*erica, jan, wanqi and angeline*
i used my mom's camera during the bash and the girls and i were all trying to take a nice picture. or at least i was insisting that we take a nice picture. haha...
okay. my dad bought me a new camera! =) haha....this is a much better camera and even my dad acknowledges it. cant wait to use it. hmm...=)
im sorry i didn't manage to go see my sis perform but im sure they sounded great! =) especially when candace takes on the lead vocals. *=D
work was okay...trying to make my fingers work like magic. one's thing is for sure...if i continue eating the way that i do, i won't fit in my pants. =(....shit. have to stop eating so much already! haha...i think i sound like a freak. it's just that i don't want to look round anymore. now that i have a erm...more defined figure than before....like erm 20% slimmer than 3 months ago, i'd like to keep it this way. so i can wear more sexy clothes! haha! =)
im getting my pay for this week very soon! shopping...*evil gleam*
okay. i started this entry at round 1045 and now it's the next day already. hmm...
blog next time then...=)
here are the pictures =)
*angeline =)*
*jan! =)*
*erica =)*
*val darling!*haha...in case you're wondering about the arrrow, it's actually pointing to the guy who saw me cry a few months ago at bk with his girl. haha...it wasn't on purpose that your face ended up in my photo so please don't be angry okay? =)
*erica, jan, wanqi and angeline*okay. my dad bought me a new camera! =) haha....this is a much better camera and even my dad acknowledges it. cant wait to use it. hmm...=)
im sorry i didn't manage to go see my sis perform but im sure they sounded great! =) especially when candace takes on the lead vocals. *=D
work was okay...trying to make my fingers work like magic. one's thing is for sure...if i continue eating the way that i do, i won't fit in my pants. =(....shit. have to stop eating so much already! haha...i think i sound like a freak. it's just that i don't want to look round anymore. now that i have a erm...more defined figure than before....like erm 20% slimmer than 3 months ago, i'd like to keep it this way. so i can wear more sexy clothes! haha! =)
im getting my pay for this week very soon! shopping...*evil gleam*
okay. i started this entry at round 1045 and now it's the next day already. hmm...
blog next time then...=)
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
moody monday
alright. so it isn't monday. and i haven't put any new entries for the past 5? days. so...
anyway.
hmm...
Friday:
i went out to meet my dad at the airport (i was late. haha...) after which we went home to wait for my mom..=) when she got home, we asked her to pack a few things. oh was she shocked! haha...shortly after he and i broke up, my sis and i planned a chalet for my mom. so we booked it quite early. haha...so, we left the house after everyone was ready to search for dinner. we finally decided on swensens. haha...
after dinner we went to the chalet! =) actually, it would be better if the chalet was at sentosa or somewhere far huh...but we couldn't find any available spaces so...oh well...
anyway, the "highlight" of the evening for me was when i went to play pool with my brother. ha...guess who i saw??? i bet this will be the last time i will see this person coindently again. anyway. as usual, my body seemed out of my control. i wanted to do so many stupid things like look away, smile like im a mad person, jump and hug the life out of the person...okay. that's a bit exagerating. but still. i was irritated. especially when he wanted to play pool with his friends at the same place too!! hmm...i know it's a free country and it's actually his territory but...hmm...i breathed a sigh of relief when he left. okay, and i heard from my brother that he's going australia for 2 weeks(!!!) and i only knew on sunday that he left on saturday. lucky him man!!! would like to go somewhere too...
saturday:
went with my dad and my dajie to cold storage at marine parade to buy some ready-made bbq stuff. wished tiffany a happy birthday and we made up. =) i love you tiff!! then, we went back to the chalet to meet my mom. after which we went out...to...ntuc. i think. oh...we had to buy brush and all that. so we went to tampines.
bbq in the evening was okay. wished my mom looked happier. well...could see she was thinking about some things. frieda and mae came along with my brother and junxiong too. overall, it was okay. except for the later part when my sister told me about my mom's short lifeline. shocked me abit and when i started imagining a place without my mom i just started crying. there might be people who do not like my mom simply because she was just trying to protect her family. but i know her. she's actually a very understanding person. and ever since im single again, my mom and i became very much closer. she listens to whatever i have to say and gives me advices...i don't know...things are just different.
sunday:
my dajie went home the previous night because she had pilates class in the morning. she thought it was more convenient. anyway. the rest of us set off to west coast because my sis had a performance later at noon. but due to unforseen circumstances, her performance with her band was postponed to later in the day so the rest of us set off to visit my grandma. it was okay...spending abit of time with my brother and my parents. i was willing to open up to my dad and it became a whole new experience. haha....i guess people's minds do change with time. i hope my brother's mind will change soon too...dinner was great. =) and expensive too. my dajie suggested japanese at great world and it was one of those quite posh restaurants. you know...those where spending hundreds is a very easy thing to do? we actually sat at one of the main tables. but after looking at the menu and everything, we decided that we could use the private rooms which requires spendings of at least $300. haha...we ordered those preset set dinners and the courses were damn fantastic. this is the life im looking for man...a life of semi-luxury. my mom said that her 50th birthday is going to be the best because my dad flew in to celebrate her birthday with her and... i think she said everyone was there to celebrate it with her too. hmm...that was the whole idea you see...i knew my mom would love the whole family to sit down together and have a joyous meal. i hope the weekend had been great for her.
monday: first day of work. it was okay...haha...
tuesday: it was also okay at work. oh my dad left in the morning.
wednesday (aka today) : lazing around because i don't have to work today. waiting for later. =)
okay, so that's all for the updates. later!
anyway.
hmm...
Friday:
i went out to meet my dad at the airport (i was late. haha...) after which we went home to wait for my mom..=) when she got home, we asked her to pack a few things. oh was she shocked! haha...shortly after he and i broke up, my sis and i planned a chalet for my mom. so we booked it quite early. haha...so, we left the house after everyone was ready to search for dinner. we finally decided on swensens. haha...
after dinner we went to the chalet! =) actually, it would be better if the chalet was at sentosa or somewhere far huh...but we couldn't find any available spaces so...oh well...
anyway, the "highlight" of the evening for me was when i went to play pool with my brother. ha...guess who i saw??? i bet this will be the last time i will see this person coindently again. anyway. as usual, my body seemed out of my control. i wanted to do so many stupid things like look away, smile like im a mad person, jump and hug the life out of the person...okay. that's a bit exagerating. but still. i was irritated. especially when he wanted to play pool with his friends at the same place too!! hmm...i know it's a free country and it's actually his territory but...hmm...i breathed a sigh of relief when he left. okay, and i heard from my brother that he's going australia for 2 weeks(!!!) and i only knew on sunday that he left on saturday. lucky him man!!! would like to go somewhere too...
saturday:
went with my dad and my dajie to cold storage at marine parade to buy some ready-made bbq stuff. wished tiffany a happy birthday and we made up. =) i love you tiff!! then, we went back to the chalet to meet my mom. after which we went out...to...ntuc. i think. oh...we had to buy brush and all that. so we went to tampines.
bbq in the evening was okay. wished my mom looked happier. well...could see she was thinking about some things. frieda and mae came along with my brother and junxiong too. overall, it was okay. except for the later part when my sister told me about my mom's short lifeline. shocked me abit and when i started imagining a place without my mom i just started crying. there might be people who do not like my mom simply because she was just trying to protect her family. but i know her. she's actually a very understanding person. and ever since im single again, my mom and i became very much closer. she listens to whatever i have to say and gives me advices...i don't know...things are just different.
sunday:
my dajie went home the previous night because she had pilates class in the morning. she thought it was more convenient. anyway. the rest of us set off to west coast because my sis had a performance later at noon. but due to unforseen circumstances, her performance with her band was postponed to later in the day so the rest of us set off to visit my grandma. it was okay...spending abit of time with my brother and my parents. i was willing to open up to my dad and it became a whole new experience. haha....i guess people's minds do change with time. i hope my brother's mind will change soon too...dinner was great. =) and expensive too. my dajie suggested japanese at great world and it was one of those quite posh restaurants. you know...those where spending hundreds is a very easy thing to do? we actually sat at one of the main tables. but after looking at the menu and everything, we decided that we could use the private rooms which requires spendings of at least $300. haha...we ordered those preset set dinners and the courses were damn fantastic. this is the life im looking for man...a life of semi-luxury. my mom said that her 50th birthday is going to be the best because my dad flew in to celebrate her birthday with her and... i think she said everyone was there to celebrate it with her too. hmm...that was the whole idea you see...i knew my mom would love the whole family to sit down together and have a joyous meal. i hope the weekend had been great for her.
monday: first day of work. it was okay...haha...
tuesday: it was also okay at work. oh my dad left in the morning.
wednesday (aka today) : lazing around because i don't have to work today. waiting for later. =)
okay, so that's all for the updates. later!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
last train home
just watched the exorcism of emily rose. it's okay la...it's not a horror flick. quite interesting...hmm....watched it with hoting, tianwen and daryl. it was funny the way daryl acted. haha...halfway he screamed la!! hahahaha....
the world is very small man!! or perhaps its just singapore. hmm...i think it's just singapore and the fact that i live in tampines.
there's something wrong with my digestive system. i can feel it. think it's because i have not been very healthy. should detox. haha...shall ask my sis to detox with me. think she will gladly join me.
i have been living in a dream. in it, everything was nice.
reality likes to crash down on me.
crushing all my hopes
all my dreams.
i should continue living in that dream.
and be sheltered
by the arms of someone strong.
but everytime i try to remind myself
that a dream is naught but a dream,
my heart refuses to listen
and i continue being delusional.
help me somebody.
save me from myself.
the world is very small man!! or perhaps its just singapore. hmm...i think it's just singapore and the fact that i live in tampines.
there's something wrong with my digestive system. i can feel it. think it's because i have not been very healthy. should detox. haha...shall ask my sis to detox with me. think she will gladly join me.
i have been living in a dream. in it, everything was nice.
reality likes to crash down on me.
crushing all my hopes
all my dreams.
i should continue living in that dream.
and be sheltered
by the arms of someone strong.
but everytime i try to remind myself
that a dream is naught but a dream,
my heart refuses to listen
and i continue being delusional.
help me somebody.
save me from myself.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Slowly fading fast
didn't manage to crash yiyun's lecture, as much as i wanted to, due to unexpected circumtances. haha...i didn't manage to finish my i and r in time to go. sorry yiyun!! BUT. still went there to have lunch with her and JIAXIN!!! =D and felicia.
after lunch we went for a tour around the school!! =) didn't manage to see adam. haha...but i saw haireel, tinghui and benjamin. haha...it was like a mini BG reunion. hmm...JIA XIN!!! I LOVE YOU!! =) hope to see you soon so i can appease your loneliness!!! hahahahaha.....
can't wait for work to start! hmm...so i can earn money and spend it all on christmas sales. haha....waiting and waiting....i want to go shopping!!! again. haha..
i have been shopping almost everyday man...i think my calf muscles have developed because i walked so much!! haha...okay. here is the list of things i want for christmas:
1) a bag. saw a couple at orchard and bugis street!!
2) ruby red dangling earrings!!! those very bohemien type ones. haha...
3) necklace!! hmm...
4) a nice pair of snug jeans
5) a nice short skirt!!!
6) new clothes!!! must shop with me to find out what exactly i want. haha...
7) shoes!!! not necessarily high heels. the black slippers im wearing now from Accessories is just fine!!
8)...a boyfriend. haha! na la...just joking. practicallity will rule over and i don't think i can afford to be attached next year...sad!! hmm......sigh.........like there are guys out there who actually really really like me enough to be their girlfriend!!
okay. not very hard yeah?? haha...actually, i'd rather get these things using my own money (except for no8!) because i'll feel really bad if someone actually buys one of the items listed above for me...unless of course, they are my family or they are my close friends!!! =)
yiyun!! i book you for christmas shopping okay!!! cant wait...
heeeeehehehehehe.....
after lunch we went for a tour around the school!! =) didn't manage to see adam. haha...but i saw haireel, tinghui and benjamin. haha...it was like a mini BG reunion. hmm...JIA XIN!!! I LOVE YOU!! =) hope to see you soon so i can appease your loneliness!!! hahahahaha.....
can't wait for work to start! hmm...so i can earn money and spend it all on christmas sales. haha....waiting and waiting....i want to go shopping!!! again. haha..
i have been shopping almost everyday man...i think my calf muscles have developed because i walked so much!! haha...okay. here is the list of things i want for christmas:
1) a bag. saw a couple at orchard and bugis street!!
2) ruby red dangling earrings!!! those very bohemien type ones. haha...
3) necklace!! hmm...
4) a nice pair of snug jeans
5) a nice short skirt!!!
6) new clothes!!! must shop with me to find out what exactly i want. haha...
7) shoes!!! not necessarily high heels. the black slippers im wearing now from Accessories is just fine!!
8)...a boyfriend. haha! na la...just joking. practicallity will rule over and i don't think i can afford to be attached next year...sad!! hmm......sigh.........like there are guys out there who actually really really like me enough to be their girlfriend!!
okay. not very hard yeah?? haha...actually, i'd rather get these things using my own money (except for no8!) because i'll feel really bad if someone actually buys one of the items listed above for me...unless of course, they are my family or they are my close friends!!! =)
yiyun!! i book you for christmas shopping okay!!! cant wait...
heeeeehehehehehe.....
Days go by
i forgot to blog this down yesterday..haha...: yesterday was xian shao's 23 birthday. haha..
how to do InR? i have to hand it in in like 2 hours? and i have only written one line.
meeting yiyun later. going to crash her lecture. haha...
anyway.
class outing yesterday wasn't a TOTAL failure. haha...out of 23 people in our class, 12 turned up. haha...and we didn't watch a movie. which was fine. im happy they turned up. =) not bad la...it wasn't totally quiet or damn noisy la...just nice...but i think i have to thank stephanie for being there to lighten the mood with all her jokes and conversations =).
THANKS STEPH!!!
i also forgot to mention that i watched a movie 2 days ago. haha...i watched sky high. hmm...it was okay la...just $7. so didn't waste MUCH. haha...compared to watching DOOM or CELLO or some stupid horror flick that will have me covering my eyes (and ears, yes, all at the same time) throughout the whole film, light stuff like this is very good. haha...
my dad's returning for a quick short break this friday. i think it's partly because i called him to. haha! no la...my mom's birthday is approaching. and i called him to persuade him. but i guess he had to check his schedule and all...but he's coming home!! =) bet my mom's very happy.
starting work next monday. hmm...im turning into a pig. help!! my room is actually still a pig sty. haha...i didn't clean much that day. everyday i require at least 8 hours of sleep!! hmm... P-I-G.
i can feel myself switching into holiday mood already...very bad...
how to do InR? i have to hand it in in like 2 hours? and i have only written one line.
meeting yiyun later. going to crash her lecture. haha...
anyway.
class outing yesterday wasn't a TOTAL failure. haha...out of 23 people in our class, 12 turned up. haha...and we didn't watch a movie. which was fine. im happy they turned up. =) not bad la...it wasn't totally quiet or damn noisy la...just nice...but i think i have to thank stephanie for being there to lighten the mood with all her jokes and conversations =).
THANKS STEPH!!!
i also forgot to mention that i watched a movie 2 days ago. haha...i watched sky high. hmm...it was okay la...just $7. so didn't waste MUCH. haha...compared to watching DOOM or CELLO or some stupid horror flick that will have me covering my eyes (and ears, yes, all at the same time) throughout the whole film, light stuff like this is very good. haha...
my dad's returning for a quick short break this friday. i think it's partly because i called him to. haha! no la...my mom's birthday is approaching. and i called him to persuade him. but i guess he had to check his schedule and all...but he's coming home!! =) bet my mom's very happy.
starting work next monday. hmm...im turning into a pig. help!! my room is actually still a pig sty. haha...i didn't clean much that day. everyday i require at least 8 hours of sleep!! hmm... P-I-G.
i can feel myself switching into holiday mood already...very bad...
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Take Me Away
please take me away...to somewhere other than here...
sigh...i like to run away from my problems. now is no different. in the past it was like this. now it is like this. in the future? sigh...the future is now and im still doing it.
class outing is approx in an hour...and all we are doing is lunch and a movie. BORING!!! sigh...but for the sake of seeing more people attending i changed it from ice skating. i seriously prefer ice skating...sigh...i shouldn't have cared about seeing more people going right...because jan, angeline, erica are not going...im so sian...one by one pangsei me...so shit. but when i go i'll still paste a smile on my face.
why should i care if the class doesn't right? just a waste of time, money (my phone bill), and effort. but i feel responsible for my class being so shit now. wtf.
argh...
i hate problems...and i hate facing them. fuck.
sigh...i like to run away from my problems. now is no different. in the past it was like this. now it is like this. in the future? sigh...the future is now and im still doing it.
class outing is approx in an hour...and all we are doing is lunch and a movie. BORING!!! sigh...but for the sake of seeing more people attending i changed it from ice skating. i seriously prefer ice skating...sigh...i shouldn't have cared about seeing more people going right...because jan, angeline, erica are not going...im so sian...one by one pangsei me...so shit. but when i go i'll still paste a smile on my face.
why should i care if the class doesn't right? just a waste of time, money (my phone bill), and effort. but i feel responsible for my class being so shit now. wtf.
argh...
i hate problems...and i hate facing them. fuck.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Always something
had quite a restless night locked in a nightmare created solely by my own imagination. haha...sounds like i had a magical night huh...hmm...it wasn't.
went SHOPPING with yiyun yesterday!! =)
bought 2 shirts from fox and a mango bag which my brother said looked like the type which lians would carry when they wear tight blue jeans, tight black shirt and thick black eyeliner. haha...im no longer in the eyeliner phase. but i hope im moving on to MORE colours. haha...yay...my black phase is ALMOST over. haha...that was what i said 2 months ago. few days after.
i want to set up the christmas tree!!! hmm...maybe somewhere this week?? haha...very enticed to try after a whole day shopping at orchard. im definately going back there for my christmas shopping!!! =) cant wait.
next week will be the week i start working!!! YAY!!! MONEY!!!! haha...
went SHOPPING with yiyun yesterday!! =)
bought 2 shirts from fox and a mango bag which my brother said looked like the type which lians would carry when they wear tight blue jeans, tight black shirt and thick black eyeliner. haha...im no longer in the eyeliner phase. but i hope im moving on to MORE colours. haha...yay...my black phase is ALMOST over. haha...that was what i said 2 months ago. few days after.
i want to set up the christmas tree!!! hmm...maybe somewhere this week?? haha...very enticed to try after a whole day shopping at orchard. im definately going back there for my christmas shopping!!! =) cant wait.
next week will be the week i start working!!! YAY!!! MONEY!!!! haha...
Saturday, November 05, 2005
The Ghost Of You
hmm...i just woke up not long ago...
i think im going to clean my room. cuz got nothing to do.
i slept at my brother's room last night. his room is very nice to sleep in...haha..probably because my room is in a very BIG mess...make me don't feel like touching it and think that perhaps it will magically be clean everytime i enter it. haha...
i like everyday to be in this kind of weather...damp and cool. it's a respite from the hot and humid weather we've been geting all year round.
okay. im talking about the weather?? a clear sign that im REALLY procrastinating. haha...okay.
CLEAN THE ROOM I SHALL!!! =)
i think im going to clean my room. cuz got nothing to do.
i slept at my brother's room last night. his room is very nice to sleep in...haha..probably because my room is in a very BIG mess...make me don't feel like touching it and think that perhaps it will magically be clean everytime i enter it. haha...
i like everyday to be in this kind of weather...damp and cool. it's a respite from the hot and humid weather we've been geting all year round.
okay. im talking about the weather?? a clear sign that im REALLY procrastinating. haha...okay.
CLEAN THE ROOM I SHALL!!! =)
Friday, November 04, 2005
Aeroplane
just realised what the fuck??? i should get a life.
haha...
i like niu rou mian. especially the one at orchard emerald. no, im not saving money. it's seriously VERY nice. though when you do go there, it's relatively empty because no one knows how nice it is. PLEASE GO TRY IT. haha...helping people advertise.
tomorrow pw cancelled!! =) yay...
im getting a life!!!
and i like it...
hehehehehe...
haha...
i like niu rou mian. especially the one at orchard emerald. no, im not saving money. it's seriously VERY nice. though when you do go there, it's relatively empty because no one knows how nice it is. PLEASE GO TRY IT. haha...helping people advertise.
tomorrow pw cancelled!! =) yay...
im getting a life!!!
and i like it...
hehehehehe...
The Fake Sound Of Progress
hmm...op is shit.
haha...
played pool at jan's place today. had lots of fun! =) hoting and tianwen were there too. hmm...eating out today. leaving in a few minutes time and because the com was on i couldn't resist. thus im here right now, farting like nobody's business. haha!!!
i saw you at your window today. did it mean something?
haha...
played pool at jan's place today. had lots of fun! =) hoting and tianwen were there too. hmm...eating out today. leaving in a few minutes time and because the com was on i couldn't resist. thus im here right now, farting like nobody's business. haha!!!
i saw you at your window today. did it mean something?
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Body and soul
so shit.
hmm....have yet to do the prototype and the video proper.
wanted to perm my hair today but my aunt said to wait until my school really finishes. she don't let me!!! hrmph...=( in the end she just curled my hair for me.
okay la...dont really like the look already so...haha...
hmm...
MONEY....cant wait.
hmm....have yet to do the prototype and the video proper.
wanted to perm my hair today but my aunt said to wait until my school really finishes. she don't let me!!! hrmph...=( in the end she just curled my hair for me.
okay la...dont really like the look already so...haha...
hmm...
MONEY....cant wait.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
loser
im blogging for the 3rd time of the day like a loser should. ha...
am thinking about the 3 doors down song called loser. hmm...
i didnt blame you what.
anyway.
i wonder what God has in mind for me? or rather for my love life? im desperate and i freely admit it. okay. not THAT desperate. just miss the feeling of being attached. you know...like when you're feeling bored or alone or sad you know there will be this one person you can rely on...aya...why is it that i always feel that the more i talk the more i out of point i get??? hmm...
okay. should stop blogging. i think im going to regain ALL those weight i lost soon...oh no!!
so shit.
am thinking about the 3 doors down song called loser. hmm...
i didnt blame you what.
anyway.
i wonder what God has in mind for me? or rather for my love life? im desperate and i freely admit it. okay. not THAT desperate. just miss the feeling of being attached. you know...like when you're feeling bored or alone or sad you know there will be this one person you can rely on...aya...why is it that i always feel that the more i talk the more i out of point i get??? hmm...
okay. should stop blogging. i think im going to regain ALL those weight i lost soon...oh no!!
so shit.
why
i find it REALLY funny man...those people who just LOVE making a fool of themselves on other people's blogs. seriously. i mean please...do us ALL one GREAT favour and
GET A LIFE
oh man...cant stand it.
such crap losers should just get a boyfriend or a girlfriend and keep themselves occupied.
OKAY? ANON?? my LOVELY??? hahahahaha...you're such a loser it's making me laugh till my stomach ache so badly.
hmm...
maybe because they are such losers they cant get attached. hhahahahaha...that's worse.
sad....
i like hanging out with my brother and frieda man...they really made me laugh till i thought my bladder will burst anytime. and the best thing is: they make me feel welcome. i love you guys!! =)
hmm....my stupd cat scratched me!!!!!!! and now she's looking at me like she didn't do anything wrong. hrmph...stupid cat...
oh!! i didn't make it to school at 7 plus. i went back to sleep. haha...but not before finishing my thing okay!!! but i slept through my alarm and woke up at 10 (!!!). then i forgot to bring my speech and i also forgot to save the new OP slides into my mp3. so shit...but it all turned out okay. lucky i still have my previous speech and i could still remember all those amendments big V said. hmm...she said i was OK. =) YAY!!
so many things to do...sigh...i dont know what i should do to my hair tomorrow. should i curl it??? will i look like every other girl if i do?? hmm...
GET A LIFE
oh man...cant stand it.
such crap losers should just get a boyfriend or a girlfriend and keep themselves occupied.
OKAY? ANON?? my LOVELY??? hahahahaha...you're such a loser it's making me laugh till my stomach ache so badly.
hmm...
maybe because they are such losers they cant get attached. hhahahahaha...that's worse.
sad....
i like hanging out with my brother and frieda man...they really made me laugh till i thought my bladder will burst anytime. and the best thing is: they make me feel welcome. i love you guys!! =)
hmm....my stupd cat scratched me!!!!!!! and now she's looking at me like she didn't do anything wrong. hrmph...stupid cat...
oh!! i didn't make it to school at 7 plus. i went back to sleep. haha...but not before finishing my thing okay!!! but i slept through my alarm and woke up at 10 (!!!). then i forgot to bring my speech and i also forgot to save the new OP slides into my mp3. so shit...but it all turned out okay. lucky i still have my previous speech and i could still remember all those amendments big V said. hmm...she said i was OK. =) YAY!!
so many things to do...sigh...i dont know what i should do to my hair tomorrow. should i curl it??? will i look like every other girl if i do?? hmm...
Blind
went for a drinking session with my brother and s yesterday. saw someone with someone else in tm...made me feel real sian. downed a can of beer. i don't like the taste man....prefer what my brother and s had...my brother had jim beam while s had some irish draught...
hmmm...feel very sleepy now...have to go school later at 7 plus for some stupid shit called project work OP.
freaking shit...
why are there so many guys out there who are so full of shit? i just don't get it...really...
i feel incredibly gullible and overly trusting. i open my heart too easily. so shit. bloody freaking hell...
sorry im so vulgur now...feel terribly sleepy, though i slept for bout 5 hours.
hmm....
hmmm...feel very sleepy now...have to go school later at 7 plus for some stupid shit called project work OP.
freaking shit...
why are there so many guys out there who are so full of shit? i just don't get it...really...
i feel incredibly gullible and overly trusting. i open my heart too easily. so shit. bloody freaking hell...
sorry im so vulgur now...feel terribly sleepy, though i slept for bout 5 hours.
hmm....
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Page Avenue
floating along everyday waiting...
and waiting...
hanged out with my brother and frieda yesterday. im glad i did. =)
had chinese A level yesterday too...if i get a C i want to retake. haha...it will look very ugly if there are 2 Cs on my cert. one for GP and the other for chinese. Haha...while the rest are As. *grin*
im currently a bit hooked on Story Of The Year. like their style. and the voice of the lead is quite high. something even a girl will find difficulty in. haha...maybe it's just me.
and i finally realise why i only listen to nicholas tse and david tao twice a year: their songs will irritate me within a VERY short while. haha...
hmm.........carrying a heavy heart these few days...now i cant wait for 2005 to end and 2006 to begin. then 2006 to end and 2007 to begin. and it goes on and on....hmm...i was discussing with my mom a fortnight ago about waiting to die. haha...as usual, i was crapping and my mom was just listening, entertaining me. i dno...i don't think want to live till the age of 65 then think."okay. i give myself another 10 years. i think by then i'll die." then when im 75, i'll think,"another 5 years..." then when im 80, i'll think,"another 5 years...i know it." imagine i live till 100!!! oh man...i don't want to live that LONG!!! because by then everyone i love will be dead and i'll be left all ALONE.
men usually die earlier right? i don't want to live another 20 years after my love dies. sigh...i hope when he dies i will die soon after...like my grandparents. but i think that was because my grandma died first. then my grandpa. so do you know what that means? men don't have the will to live! &^%*(^$%
so, i must die first so my love and i can be together sooner. haha...okay. being VERY lame.
and waiting...
hanged out with my brother and frieda yesterday. im glad i did. =)
had chinese A level yesterday too...if i get a C i want to retake. haha...it will look very ugly if there are 2 Cs on my cert. one for GP and the other for chinese. Haha...while the rest are As. *grin*
im currently a bit hooked on Story Of The Year. like their style. and the voice of the lead is quite high. something even a girl will find difficulty in. haha...maybe it's just me.
and i finally realise why i only listen to nicholas tse and david tao twice a year: their songs will irritate me within a VERY short while. haha...
hmm.........carrying a heavy heart these few days...now i cant wait for 2005 to end and 2006 to begin. then 2006 to end and 2007 to begin. and it goes on and on....hmm...i was discussing with my mom a fortnight ago about waiting to die. haha...as usual, i was crapping and my mom was just listening, entertaining me. i dno...i don't think want to live till the age of 65 then think."okay. i give myself another 10 years. i think by then i'll die." then when im 75, i'll think,"another 5 years..." then when im 80, i'll think,"another 5 years...i know it." imagine i live till 100!!! oh man...i don't want to live that LONG!!! because by then everyone i love will be dead and i'll be left all ALONE.
men usually die earlier right? i don't want to live another 20 years after my love dies. sigh...i hope when he dies i will die soon after...like my grandparents. but i think that was because my grandma died first. then my grandpa. so do you know what that means? men don't have the will to live! &^%*(^$%
so, i must die first so my love and i can be together sooner. haha...okay. being VERY lame.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
The Ghost of You
i feel happy. =) i love my family very very much. they are the best one can ever have. okay. maybe to me la...haha...duh!
i love my brother and his protectiveness towards me. i love my erjie for being the way she is: perfect. i love my dajie for being semi-interested in my life and for being such a great sister. i LOVE my mom for being so cute and for being willing to be my best friend. i love my dad for bringing me into the world *winks*.
i love all whom i've met who have made an impact on my life. all my past boyfriends...my girlfriends...and my pets. haha...
i love God. okay...sounding a tad too religious here.
hmm...i feel so...happy.
for now. haha.......
i love my brother and his protectiveness towards me. i love my erjie for being the way she is: perfect. i love my dajie for being semi-interested in my life and for being such a great sister. i LOVE my mom for being so cute and for being willing to be my best friend. i love my dad for bringing me into the world *winks*.
i love all whom i've met who have made an impact on my life. all my past boyfriends...my girlfriends...and my pets. haha...
i love God. okay...sounding a tad too religious here.
hmm...i feel so...happy.
for now. haha.......
Ghost man on the third
anger aside.
i miss taking back sunday. =) have not been listening to them lately...
i just realised that my friends are very little. too little. most whom i've had thought to be my friends have turned out to be unreliable and perhaps...i don't know...it's sad.
i don't really...hmm...i know as time pass i will eventually find someone who is fated to be my friend. just wish that person can last with me throughout the years.
maybe it's just me. i should change my attitude.
not everyone can be there for me. not everyone is meant to be there for me. and i for them. especially when i need them the MOST.
things have happened to have me change my way of thinking. sometimes it's just not worth it giving so much into something that is only one-sided.
i miss taking back sunday. =) have not been listening to them lately...
i just realised that my friends are very little. too little. most whom i've had thought to be my friends have turned out to be unreliable and perhaps...i don't know...it's sad.
i don't really...hmm...i know as time pass i will eventually find someone who is fated to be my friend. just wish that person can last with me throughout the years.
maybe it's just me. i should change my attitude.
not everyone can be there for me. not everyone is meant to be there for me. and i for them. especially when i need them the MOST.
things have happened to have me change my way of thinking. sometimes it's just not worth it giving so much into something that is only one-sided.
Motorcycle driveby
i just want to make something very clear. all of you reading my blog: you don't know ANYTHING about me. you only know what i present to you. other than that you will NEVER EVER know me. so before you make any STUPID comments that will present your IMMATURITY and STUPIDITY, think twice okay?
about tiffany: there is ALWAYS two sides of a story. if you don't know the FULL story don't make a judgement. OKAY? you have NO idea what made me say those things to her because YOU ARE NOT ME. you have not experienced what i felt and what was the thing that made me say that to her.
about tiffany: there is ALWAYS two sides of a story. if you don't know the FULL story don't make a judgement. OKAY? you have NO idea what made me say those things to her because YOU ARE NOT ME. you have not experienced what i felt and what was the thing that made me say that to her.
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